I was at a conference recently for designers from around the Southeastern United States. We were all brought together with one goal in mind: Design and how to improve the process, communication, and all that fun stuff. One side effect, however, of packing a few hundred designers into one resort, in a state that many of them do not reside in, is partying…lots of partying. For many of us it is a chance to see old friends, and forge new relationships. As the sun set on one of these conferences, a small caucus of my fellow “creatives” and I wandered the halls of the resort making appearances at parties and social gatherings. Through our travels we had passed Steve, another convention attendee, several times. Each time Steve had the same look of desperation in his eyes as he meandered the corridors holding, what we hoped, was the same unopened bottle of wine – a cheap white wine of unknown origin. After a while, our collection of merry misfits finally settled down at a party in an anonymous hotel room. Concluding our discussions on sustainable design, new manufacturing processes, and all the jargon filled banter we could surmise it was time for me, and some of the other revelers to make our leave. This room was laid out like many a hotel room with the bathroom door just inside the room entrance. As I approached the door I noticed Steve in the bathroom, with the same unopened bottle of wine, searching through our host’s toiletries with the assistance of his newfound friends – none of which were occupants of the room. This peaked my interest. What could Steve, and his equally inebriated cohorts, produce from a stranger’s possessions that would serve to uncork this now warm, cheap, white wine? To the awe of many who had converged on the vestibule of the bathroom, Steve and company produced a toothbrush of questionable sanitary nature. After stripping the bottle of its foil, one person grabbed the base of said bottle while Steve forced the cork downward into the jug with the handle of the toothbrush. Necessity is the mother of all invention! After hours of deliberation, by a more than slightly intoxicated person, the most random of objects was used to free the liquid he desired. I guess that even a cheap, room temperature, white wine has the power to bring happiness…And no, I did not partake in this most unusual of bacchanals.
Have Bottle Will Travel
Shingleback and Chocolate
I enjoy perusing the aisles at my local wine merchant’s shop reading labels, and admiring the artwork bestowed upon them. Last time I was strolling I came across a Cabernet Sauvignon from Australia called Shingleback. The label peaked my interest a little having an abstract lizard-like animal embossed on the label over a splash of silver. I picked up the bottle to read the back; I discovered that this lizard is a shingleback and it apparently happily lives in the very vines that produce this concoction. On further inspection of the written description it had the standard explanation of their fermentation process, types of barrels for aging, and the flavors that make up the bouquet. Blackcurrant, blueberry and dark chocolate, all flavors I enjoy. The description was enough to sell me, so up to the counter I trotted with my other purchases for the evening. Upon getting home, I ceremoniously put the bottles away in the bar. It was a few evenings later when the time had come to uncork this particular bottle of Cab. The cork had a nice aroma to it, so I poured a tall glass as usual. The taste of blackcurrant was quite striking as I took my first sip, it immediately let me know that this was a full-bodied wine. As the flavors developed, I swallowed and was met with a pleasing aftertaste. This continued through the first half of the glass. Then it struck me. That aftertaste was not just pleasing; it was dark chocolate! It had been a few days, and a couple of wines, since I read the bottle. So I dashed over to it. Finding my suspicions where now confirmed as to the origins of my desire for chocolate I started searching. In a frenzy I raced about the kitchen. Doors, drawers, and containers were flung open. Cats were confused, but still gathered to watch what had now become their evening’s entertainment. And my girlfriend stood on in mild amusement, and bedazzlement, as she had been partaking in her traditional Riesling, and was unbeknownst as to the reason for my longing. The search spanned from the kitchen to the bedroom, and finally the office, by this time my glass had run dry, but not the hunt for the chocolate it had made me desire. After circumnavigating our dwelling I decided that there was no dark chocolate anywhere in the living space. With the harsh reality of this setting in and my lazy in the lateness of the evening, I decided that the only thing to do was to pour another glass and enjoy the dark chocolate flavors between sips. If could bestow upon you one piece of advice about purchasing Shingleback, it would be to buy chocolate with it!
The Milliliter to Ounce Conundrum
I was heading towards the checkout counter at Total Wine the other day when I saw a couple standing midway between the checkout line and the spirits section. They had a wide look of anticipation and bewilderment. Naturally I thought back to the first time I stepped into a Total Wine and peered through aisles upon aisles of wine, beer, spirits, cigars, and other treasures that are housed in this Mecca for the alcoholically inclined. But then the young man spoke, “do you know how many ounces are in a milliliter?” I was taken aback by such a question. I know that both the wines I was carrying were the standard 750 ml. I know from a lifetime of urinal reading that 3.78 liters are in a gallon. I even remembered, from my medical days, that a 15cc syringe is almost the same as one tablespoon. What I failed to remember was how many ounces are in a gallon or tablespoon! As a result of this lapse in memory I apologized to the couple, purchased my wine, and set out to my truck. Upon loading the recently purchased bottles, I remembered that a bottle of wine usually holds about 3 glasses of wine at 8 ounces per serving (I’m a little heavy handed on the pour). Triumphantly I walked back into the store proclaiming my abilities at linguistic mathematics. As I did the math in front of them, I asked what this mass of mangled math was for. Apparently, they were trying to figure out how many shots they could get out of a small bottle of Grey Goose Vodka. With this information I scanned the shelves of airline sized bottles to see if they would confirm or debunk my skills as a mathematician (there’s a reason I became a designer instead of an aerospace engineer), and behold, there was a 50 ml bottle of Grey Goose! Now a new question arose. Is an airline size bottle of our spirit one shot, or two? Oh, sweet conflagration! Here we go again with guessing numbers. With phone calculators unsheathed, by this time we had gathered a group on intrigued helpers, we worked the math. 15 servings if we are comparing to a 1 oz bottle, but only 7.5 at 2 oz. With this figured out I decided to make my leave. I handed my business card over to them with a plea to fill this void in my knowledge of the milliliter and how it relates to the good old US fluid oz. Driving home from this chance encounter, my head spinning with other ways to figure out this simple dilemma, I received a text message: “29.583 ml in an ounce.” So, if anyone asks this question, you don’t have to remember what the pre-flush liquid content of a toilet is, or how many ounces are in a tablespoon, just remember that your bottle is 25.4 ounces and there’s just a few more milliliters per ounce than that. And by the way, those airline size bottles are about one 1.5 oz shot.
